What is going to get you through? Controlling your world when you feel out of control

By Jackie White

The alarm goes off and you sleepily re-enter the world. You open an eye and then the other. You stretch and come to consciousness. You breathe and think about the day to come and then it hits you. This is real. We are living in unprecedented times, as they say. You don’t even want to think of the reality. You want to go back to sleep and wake up when it’s all over.

I think we all have felt like this over the last few months. Maybe more than once, maybe everyday. So, with this reality weighing heavy, how do we continue to put one foot in front of the other?

That is the real challenge in all of this. How do we do the stuff we have always done everyday without cracking? And by the way, doing all that stuff wasn’t that easy when there wasn’t a pandemic! What we need to do is take control. When we take control we can then break it down to manageable pieces wrapped in a new attitude and appreciation for life.

Huh? That sounds like work. That sounds like looking at the bright side of things and, gosh darn it, you're not in the mood! Ok, I get that, but you can keep trudging through each day or you can try something new that maybe, just maybe, it will make each day easier and more meaningful.

All I am asking is for you to just consider that there might be another healthier, more productive way to manage through today’s challenges.

Life Kinda Sucks Right Now
Let’s just get this out on the table. Life kinda sucks right now. Let’s not sugar coat it! But, that doesn’t mean we should spend each and everyday acting like the sky is falling. Chicken Little, we need to gain some control! This 1, 2, 3 process will get you attacking each day with a system of control.

The Cycle of Gaining Control

1.Feelings Become Thoughts, Thoughts Become Actions:
In the movie Moonstruck, Cher slaps Nicholas Cage in the face and yells “Snap out of it!” when he begins to go off on a tangent. Let’s pretend Cher obliged us by slapping us out of our obsessive downward spiral of negativity! Our mind is suddenly clear and ready to accept another state of mind. Now, we plug in a state of calm, assertive energy. The best energy to be your own Pack Leader according to Cesear Millan. He is right. Assume that energy and hold your head high and confident to walk into each day. I don’t care if you have to fake it, just do it. When you do, it changes your state of being and your physiology, which thereby affects your feelings and thoughts. Whoa! That might be an interesting connection for you to consider.

State of physical being communicates to your mind to feel certain feelings. These feelings then become your thoughts. So, if what you are exhibiting physically is strength and confidence then your brain translates that into a feeling of control, power and calm. These feelings then direct the way you think and act. It’s a beautiful cycle of control.

2. Intention:
Now that you are in control, you need to have a plan to get through each day calmly and effectively. That’s where intention comes in. Here is where you need to get committed to choosing a path that is not only clear but one that is positively charged. What I mean is, take the day you have been given and decide that today you will be grateful and determined to choose to live it in an optimistic way. 

So, instead of focusing on the hassle it is to wear a mask places, be happy that you can leave your house and get out. Rather than being negative about having to manage your kids at home while they virtually school and you work from home, look at it as an opportunity to spend more time with your kids. It gets very easy to fall into a habit of playing the starring role in a complain-a-thon, so when you start falling back into complaining and feeling frustrated, refocus yourself to choose a more positive response.

3. Finally. Make the Decision Daily:
To wrap this new way of being in a big bow, you need to make the decision daily. The decision to choose to approach today’s Environment of Suck with a mindset of “I can do this!” and “I can do this with a positive attitude!” will make all the difference in your world each and every day!

Get yourself in the proper cycle of control and look to better days as we weather through these uncertain times.

Shine on!