Time to Get on Your Best Behavior. The 4 Behaviors that Can Sabotage.

By Jackie White

How do so many of us stumble along through life only to arrive at another new year, birthday, anniversary, whatever the occasion might be, and wonder where did the time go? You might wonder what happened to all those grand plans and dreams you once had. The truth is there are behaviors that we have gotten so comfortable with that we have allowed them to stagnate our potential. Now, is the time for a get-real-with-yourself chat that puts you on the road to taking charge and moving your life in the right direction.

Gulp, who wants to do that? You should want to because sometimes it’s your own self that needs to kick your butt in gear! If you are tired of the same ol’ same ol’ then this is your opportunity to shift gears and move past all that’s been holding you back.

You should know that your behavior is driven by what you believe. There is a cost to that if what you believe is not serving you. These behaviors have been coined “Binding Behaviors” by Rha Goddess in her book “The Calling”. These patterns of behavior are keeping you tethered to a victimhood mentality and that sure isn’t where you want to be.

These 4 key patterns of behavior we tend to engage in cause us to continue to circle the swamp of mediocrity. To make a better life for ourselves we have to make a change. A change to be better, more empowered, and following the path of our true calling.

The four binding behaviors all have one goal in common and that is to keep you down. They tend to be fall-back behaviors that have protected us in the past. The truth is they are really bad habits we need to break so we can free ourselves to live fully.

The 4 Binding Behaviors

1. Complaining: To complain is to express dissatisfaction with something or someone. Frankly, most of the complaining we do doesn’t have the intention of trying to fix the problem. We tend to do it to express frustration. Complaining just to complain is not a healthy habit. Replace the hot air of complaining about the intent to problem-solve. Another good check-in is to determine if what you are saying is true, kind, and/or necessary. If not, then it’s best to keep your mouth quiet.  
   
2. Blaming/Judging: To blame another for a circumstance is to make them responsible for the outcome of the situation. Maybe they truly had a hand in it, but you are responsible for moving yourself forward instead squatting in excuses and finger-pointing. Being judgemental is expressing disapproval of another’s behavior. The cure to this is going back to keeping your opinions to yourself when they do not serve the true, kind, or necessary criteria stated above.
   
3. Justifying: When you justify, you rationalize excuses for something happening or not happening. It can allow others to let you off the hook for things you should really be accountable for. It can also allow you to release yourself from accountability. You don’t want to do that. If you want to make something of this life, you have to keep yourself accountable.
   
4. Avoiding: Ignoring or misleading yourself or others to avoid dealing with issues is not a good strategy for stepping into your calling. There will always be uncomfortable stuff to deal with and it’s best to face it head-on and clear the air. Anything else allows the problem to persist and drain your energy.​
   

Who knew, we could so easily sabotage ourselves? This is where we say we will do better now
because we know better! Check yourself when you see yourself falling into these patterns. Eventually, with some mindfulness, you will begin to choose to not engage and the road will be cleared for endless possibilities!

Shine on!