Love Yourself Enough to Give Up These 3 Life-sucking Things

By Erika Fehrenbach Prell

DreamChaser, I have a challenge for you. Not just any challenge. I’m talking about a life-altering, happiness-boosting, ignite-the-path-to-your-best-life kind of challenge…and I know you are up to the task.

We talk about the importance of self-love alot, that we need to take care of ourselves daily, not sometimes or if there is time, but daily. That in order to do all the things we want to or need to do, it is crucial to fill our own cups first, minus any guilt for doing so. For many of you, this will require intentional action, focus, and practice to instill a new habit. 

When you start thinking about self-love, the place we start is actions we can do for ourselves that we enjoy, that refuel our batteries, and bring us inner calm. Things like exercise, reading, meditating, or journaling. That is awesome and having a list of go-to’s for self-love is important. But, I want to challenge you to take your self-love to a deeper level! Here’s my challenge…I want you to love yourself enough to give up these 3 life-sucking things. 

Are you ready?!? Here we go…

1. Ditch the Negative Self-Talk

The path to that dream life starts with what is going on between your ears. We all have an inner monologue; that little voice that is constantly talking in our ears. Have you ever stopped to really listen to what that voice - what YOU - are saying to yourself? Is it positive and possible or negative and demoralizing?

This little voice is often called the Inner Critic, and for good reason as it is not usually a very nice voice. At SoulShine, in fact, we have deemed this jerk the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee, and it’s time to give them the boot. 

• Step 1: Recognize the committee is in session. This is typically when you are feeling down and your confidence is shaky.
  
• Step 2: Pay attention to the conversation. Here’s a great rule to follow - if you wouldn’t say this outloud to someone else, you should not be saying it to yourself! 
  
• Step 3: Fire those jerks! This might seem silly but it’s quite effective. Imagine the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee is sitting on your shoulder, like the bad angel you see in movies and television shows. Pretend to flick him off, sending him to oblivion, and replacing him with your own personal cheerleader.
  
• Step 4: Do the SoulShine Flip the Script. Turn the negative statement into a positive, which might be as simple as adding the possible and positive word “yet” to the statement.
  

Beware, the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee can have a strong hold; it will take time and practice to recognize and thwart this foe. I guarantee that it will be worth the effort!

2. Let Go of the Things You Can’t Control

A big source of stress and negativity in our lives is trying to control things we really have no control over. There are really only 3 things that are in your control: your thoughts, your beliefs, and your actions. You can’t control outside influences happening to you but you can control what you think, believe, and your actions in response to them. 

Everything else? Let that crap go. This, DreamChaser, is one of the most freeing things you can do for yourself and is self-love at it’s finest.

3. Keep Stress in Check

Stress is one of the most negative forces on our wellness. Stress is a contributing factor in not only our mental well-being and health but also our physical. Stress is an inevitable part of life; spoiler alert, you will never have a completely stress-free life. The key is developing a way to keep stress in check so it doesn’t overrun your life, your Calm the Chaos plan. Don’t over complicate it, DreamChaser, start with making a list of actions you can take when you feel stressed to bring inner calm like going for a walk, deep breathing exercises, or practicing gratitude. Then, when you feel the stress level climbing, simply recognize you are feeling stressed and try an action, or two, from your list to bring on the calm. Of note, stress typically comes from an outside influence; by intentionally choosing your response to stress by calming the chaos, you bring it into your area of control! Bam!

That’s the challenge, DreamChaser…take self-love to the next level by giving up negative self-talk, control issues, and excess stress. Your future self is thanking you already!

Shine On!

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