By Erika Fehrenbach Prell
Ready to know the secret to finding balance in life? Balancing all the things...career, kids, relationships, commitments, exercise, errands...the list goes on.
Are you ready?
Here it is...Balance. Doesn’t. Exist. (#truthbomb)
If you are living your best life, or living life at all for that matter, you will always have seasons of being out of balance! Think about it!
-Training for a race? Out of balance.
-Learning a new skill? Out of balance.
-Coaching a kid’s sport? Out of balance.
-Starting a new position? Out of balance.
Now, there’s something interesting about this. When you commit to the process of taking on a new challenge, you become a novice, which requires increased time and effort towards learning that new thing. But, chances are, even though you were out of balance, you probably didn’t feel out of balance or weren’t bothered by being out of balance. And, why was that? Because you knew you would be out of balance for a season; it was expected, anticipated, and, quite possibly, prepared for when the decision was made to go ahead with the challenge or commitment.
But, then, why do you feel out of balance at other times? This boils down to two scenarios. Either the season lasted longer than expected, or, it wasn’t a season you signed up for or expected. Here’s what I mean. I start to feel out of balance when our family life is focused solely on kid activities, and, I haven’t had a date night with my husband, been out with friends, or did anything for myself. Or, I have felt out of balance when an unexpected life turn took us by surprise requiring the precious resources of time and energy when we weren’t expecting it.
See the difference? Living your life means pushing out of your current comfort zone; this makes you a novice! And, that new challenge or new skill needs extra attention, extra effort, and extra time so you are out of balance. But, you don’t care because you planned for it, expected it, or CHOSE to be out of balance. But, when you really feel out of balance, this is indicative that too much time and effort is going into something not giving a good return or the season has gotten too long.
We know you are here to live your best life; your most fulfilled, purpose-driven, inspired best life. This requires a mindset reset on balance. Repeat after me…”Balance doesn’t exist if I want to live my best life. I will have seasons of imbalance as I grow and push out of my comfort zone”.
Now, here’s your SoulShine SOULution - 7 Tips to Make Life More Tolerable in Seasons of Imbalance:
1. Assess the Imbalance
You need a clear understanding of where your time and effort are being used up in order to make changes to correct the imbalance. Is one area taking more resources? Are you taking on too many roles and spreading yourself too thin? Did life take an unexpected life turn?
2. Is the End in Sight?
Everything that comes up in life has an end to the season, though, some might be longer seasons than others. Knowing a time frame for this season will help determine if short term or long term strategies and solutions need to be set into play.
3. Priorities and the 5 Roles Life Hack
Remember this helpful assessment? (If not, check it out here https://www.findyoursoulshine.com/blog/how-to-use-the-5-roles-life-hack-to-align-your-time-and-priorities) A feeling of imbalance often means we are not aligning our time with our goals and priorities. Pick the 5 most important, top priority roles for this season. This might mean other roles need to take a backseat while this season is underway. Align your time and efforts in these roles. Sometimes, the simplest fix to a feeling of imbalance is recognizing the areas of life that are being accidentally neglected. Schedule these inro your calendar; this creates protected time and increases the likelihood you will actually get to do them.
4. Say No and Let it Go
Ask yourself if this obligation is bringing you joy or is in alignment with your priorities. If not, say “No”, and let it go. When you lead with your priorities in mind, it is easier to bless and release these extra time suckers.
5. Delegation of Tasks
You can’t do everything for everyone, or at least not do it well. And, let’s be real; moms take on way more than their share. What tasks can your partner or children take on to alleviate what is on your plate? Delegate these to the appropriate person. But, once it has been delegated, let them do it! The towels may not be folded exactly like you do it but that’s okay. Do not re-do the activity so that it’s to your standards; sometimes, good enough is good enough. Another strategy would be if there is anyone you can hire to take over tasks like a cleaning service or grocery delivery; these get hours back into your life. And, time is priceless, especially in a season of imbalance.
6. Ask for Help
This can be tough; it is very hard to ask for help. But, it is very likely that your partner and children have no idea that you are feeling out of balance or overwhelmed. Communicate with your partner on what you are feeling and decide where help can be offered. Know who else can help? Neighbors and other parents! Kid on a sports team? Start a carpool with other parents on the team; that way, you all do the pick up and drop off a few times instead of every time!
7. Live, Learn and Plan Ahead
Embrace seasons of imbalance as a life lesson to try and improve on strategies to make life easier. Meal planning, carpooling, grocery services, hiring someone to run errands for you, batching activities...these are just a few of the many ideas to help you make life run smoother.
One last thought to remember during times of imbalance, DreamChasers! These are often periods of stress. Do not forget to take time for yourself during these seasons; even 5-10 minutes per day of quiet reflection, meditation, reading, walking...whatever makes you feel recharged and re-energized will do wonders to restore yourself during this time!
Jackie White has been writing about life and its ups and downs for many years. With a degree in Industrial Psychology and a life-long student of personal development she is intrigued by how each individual chooses to live their life. Jackie feels strongly that truly living your best life is imperative to attaining peace and fulfillment. SoulShine was borne of her desire to inspire and teach others to live their best life. This is her mission and her dream.