It's Time to Take Back Your Holiday - Deflecting the Hurtling Snowball Effect of Tradition Overload

By Erika Fehrenbach Prell

Ever hear the term “snowball effect”? The idea behind this metaphor it is that you start with a small snowball at the top of a hill. It’s small, harmless, insignificant even. You start to push the snowball down the hill. As it goes, it becomes bigger as it picks up more snow, and it gains momentum as it goes faster and faster down the hill. Faster and faster, bigger and bigger, until it is this giant mass of snow hurtling to the bottom. This can be a metaphor for events happening in life; ideas or situations that start out small and insignificant but pick up momentum and speed, building on itself, almost taking on a life of its own, becoming seemingly impossible to stop once it is started.

This, my friends, can happen with holiday traditions, if you aren’t careful.

Let’s be real for a second. I love holidays, and I love traditions. And, the marriage of holidays and traditions can be magical, but it can also be too much. It starts out simple enough. You come with a set of traditions with culture, spiritual, and family specific roots. Then, you marry or start a relationship with someone that comes with their own set. Suddenly, you have potentially doubled your traditions and expectations on your time during the holidays. Your snowball has started to go down the hill. But, it’s not too bad yet.

Then, kids come along; they might be your own children or your siblings children. Now, there is a tiny human calling the shots due to schedule or location. Layer in that you have a new family unit and might want to start your own traditions. Meanwhile, you have grandparents, aunts, uncles, and extended family with their own agenda. If you don’t set clear boundaries and expectations, that snowball is picking up speed.

You start searching Pinterest or scrolling Insta for the best ideas for holiday traditions. You start adding in extras like Elf on the Shelf because it’s so cute. Look at this wrap a holiday book for each night in December to read at bedtime...perfect! Breakfast with Santa, check! Reindeer at the local garden store...we’ll be there! You don’t want anyone to miss out on something fun! Still pretty easy, it’s just the three of you.

Your family grows. You start realizing the snowball is spiraling out of control. You have to repeat all the traditions you have been doing with your first child because they now expect this is part of what you do during the holiday. You have guilt that you need to keep it fair for the younger child so you bring back outgrown traditions or have to double your current efforts. Not to mention, as kids grow older, you start having school and possibly church programs as well as extracurriculars like sports or music lessons. All the while keeping up at work and work commitments. And, you want to see your friends...and, oh geez, some “me” time would be great. When was the last time I made it to the exercise class I signed up for? Ugh...you feel the shadow of the giant snowball coming at you!

Am I speaking directly to your soul right now?!? Here is a plan to deflect that hurtling snowball and take back your holiday:
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​Write down all the things you think you need to do before Christmas. Just get it out on paper.

1. Take your calendar. Look at the commitments you already have agreed to. Are any of these on your brainstorm list? If so, cross them off your list...done!
2. Next, look to see where you have openings on your calendar to do some of the things you want to do.
3. Before you go back to your brainstorm list. Schedule in 1-2 blocks of time to do something for YOURSELF. This is your much needed “me” time to recharge and reflect! By scheduling it in, you will actually make it a priority and set aside the time to do it. This is one of the best practices you can start...making time for yourself!
4. Count up the remaining time slots to do some of those things on your list. 
5. Go back to your list with that number. Prioritize which items are the most important.
6. Schedule your list items into the time slots in order of priority. Once the slots are filled, let the rest go. 
7. Give yourself grace! There is no guilt in not doing “all the things”. Doing the most important things with less stress, more joy, and more presence will make them more special and memorable than rushing from one thing to the next.

Here are a few more tips that might help you take back your holiday!

1. It’s okay to say no. Sometimes you have to say no to the good to have the time and energy for the great. This isn’t just for the holidays, by the way.
   
2. Some of the best traditions are things like watching certain movies together. They don’t always have to be huge events to be remembered!
   
3. If you are married or have children, make the brainstorming and selection a family activity. Have each family member select 1 activity or take a vote.
   
4. Doing too much? Listen up. It’s okay to stop or cut an activity.
   
5. Not enjoying something? Like the Elf on the Shelf stresses you out? Re-read #4...it’s okay to stop or cut an activity. Have Santa send a note saying there’s a new mandate that the Elf has to pick the best place to keep the closest eye on the kids.​
   

Traditions are awesome and creating memories to treasure is part of living your best life. We love traditions because they typically bring back special memories and feelings of when we were children, making the desire to pass this along to the ones we love natural. And, some of these newer traditions appear fun or funny, or we feel the need to do them so our kids aren’t the only ones at school not searching for an elf in the morning. But, when we try to do too much, it can get away from us and take on a life of its own. We can lose sight of what is important this time of year, being together as a family celebrating whatever the season means to you, and the person trying to put on this magical holiday experience is stressed and miserable instead of joyful and happy. You are armed and ready to take back your holiday!
Shine on