Get to, not have to. One simple word that makes a world of difference.

By Erika Fehrenbach Prell

The mindset you choose is the #gamechanger in how you live your life. Numerous studies continue to show the list of benefits that a positive mindset full of expressing joy, practicing gratitude and being happy brings to your life continues to grow. But, it’s not always easy, especially in unexpected times of stress, uncertainty and crisis. The more you practice, the easier it becomes to go to a positive mindset, even in the hardest times. So, keep practicing!

Negativity will challenge your mindset in many ways. But, one of the sneakiest is the “have to” mindset. I have to go to work. I have to exercise. I have to lose weight. I have to...I have to...I have to. These comments might not seem negative on the surface. I mean, you DO have to work or get the kids to school or whatever commitment needs to happen, right?

Having to do something makes it seem you are not in control, that you have no choice in the task. This brings you to a mindset of limitations. This is a perfect time to try the SoulShine Flip the Script strategy. Remember that simple and versatile strategy? Quick recap! Flipping the Script is simply taking a negative comment and rephrasing to a positive one (seriously, it’s that simple but it’s so effective). To Flip the Script on have to is as simple as a one word exchange, substituting GET instead of HAVE. That’s it; get to instead of have to. I get to work. I get to exercise. I get to lose weight. I get to...I get to...I get to. Can you already feel the difference?

I know times are particularly challenging right now. (I know, I know. Understatement of the year.) We are all experiencing uncharted territory with the coronavirus pandemic. You think all this talk about positivity and flipping the script and getting to instead of having to is out of place. I am here to challenge you to find an amazing blessing in all this stressing with the ultimate in getting to instead of having to.

Many of us have suddenly found our often crazy-busy-bordering-on-chaotic schedules suddenly...clear. Empty. Nothing on them. Perhaps, you have dreamed of working from home, and, poof, you are. Maybe you hoped for life to slow down a bit, wish granted. Or, you wished for more time to do all the things you keep putting off, you got it. You asked for it; and, the universe answered. Probably not how any of us really imagined but here we are.

Here’s the ultimate getting-to-instead-of-having-to blessing. You can choose to see this for what it is; the ultimate make-over opportunity of your life! Every one of us has the same amount of time. And, I am sure you have heard that phrase, “if it’s a priority, you will make time for it”. (SoulShine has even talked about it!) And, while that’s true, the reality is slightly different. Yes, we have the same amount of time. Yes, we can choose what we do with it. Yes, we can say no and let it go. 

Here’s the truth. That’s hard. It’s hard to let go of things, even when they are past their expiration points. All of us have kept doing something that we should have let go because it was comfortable, because we were used to it, because we committed to it, because we are the only ones that can do it that well, because we are afraid of changing a habit. All of these things are too important to stop doing so your precious time gets taken, minute by minute, day by day. Leaving you with the scraps that fill up way too fast with your real priorities-family time, visiting friends, sporting events, special events, the list goes on. I almost forgot! There’s also cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, running errands, and other tasks to fit in! And, maybe, just maybe, there will be a few minutes for you to squeak in the much needed self-kindness time to make yourself the best you can be. Maybe.

DreamChasers, you GET to have a life makeover. You GET to take a breath and have the time to explore what YOU want your life to look like, to consist of, to be. This is a huge opportunity, and I don’t want you to waste it! Isn’t that amazing?

And, I am going to go out on a sturdy, short limb here that a little guidance might be welcome. (A short limb because I am not good at climbing trees. I have no time for a broken bone or an Emergency Room visit...kidding, not kidding.) Cue the superhero music, da-ta-da-daaa! SoulShine Life Connections’ Triple D Strategy:

1. Do - Review your schedule prior to the coronavirus pandemic. Compare it to now. What things are you still doing? What things have you started doing that you did not do before? Are any of these new tasks something you really enjoy, that you would like to keep doing?
   
2. Delegate - What tasks have you given to someone else to do? What tasks could be delegated to those that you live with? (Spoiler, this is a fantastic time to teach kids to do some chores around the house or re-align household chores with your significant other.) What tasks will return when life resumes that you could continue to delegate?
   
3. Delete - What things have been deleted from your schedule? Which do you miss? (Like time with friends and family other than those in your own home. Amirite?!?) Which are you relieved are off your plate? ​
   

Since time is non-renewable, it is our most precious commodity. Where you spend your time is what you are prioritizing. The SoulShine Triple D Strategy will reveal what your priorities are (Do), help you lighten up your load (Delegate), and simplify your commitments (Delete). Use this strategy as a guide for your life makeover. Schedule (yes, schedule) each of these priorities into your NEW calendar to guide and structure your post-coronavirus life.

Hold on! It doesn’t stop there; there are two crucial steps after scheduling. First, you need to make a commitment to these scheduled priorities, especially if the commitment is to yourself in the form of needed self-kindness like exercise or reading or following one of your passions. These are often the first things we give up to accommodate other commitments being presented to us; if this time has demonstrated anything, it’s the importance of managing stress to continue functioning! The second is practicing to say no and let it go. If a commitment presents itself that compromises or is not in alignment with your priorities, I am giving you permission to say no. After you say no, let it go; do not let it weigh you down that you “should have” done that. 

Finally, keep the SoulShine Triple D Strategy in your wheelhouse for the future, DreamChasers. Life happens and over-commitment may inevitably creep back in, probably in the good-old slippery slope fashion (you know, a yes here and there that spirals into your priorities being put on the back burner). Check back in from time to time to see where you are at. If you notice this happening or are getting that crazy-busy-bordering-on-chaotic feeling, stop and go through the steps of the Triple D Strategy - Do, Delegate, Delete.

Shine on!