Curing the Epidemic of Unworthiness. One Connection at a Time

By Jackie White

Stop for a moment and think. Think about your life and what you deserve. Is there anything that you see that you don’t deserve? Do you feel unworthy of certain things or do you avoid going for certain dreams because you don’t deserve that level of possibility? 

Maybe it’s not you. Maybe you know someone who puts themselves down or is constantly apologizing? Your teenage daughter might be fighting unworthiness big time in her own heart and soul.

All of these examples unfortunately are far too common in the American public. Unworthiness runs rampant, especially among women. The statistics are downright frightening. 66% of women feel they are worthless and useless while 70% of teen girls believe they are not good enough.
That is unacceptable. 

We need to take back ourselves from ourselves! The seed of unworthiness can be planted by another but is fed by ourselves fixating on such a tragic belief. However, there is an opportunity for us to throw a wrench in this monkey mindset. Welcome to the season of giving and see how it can give back to you. During the holiday season, we are given opportunities to connect with others. There might be a family gathering or perhaps a Friendsgiving or an opportunity to volunteer to help another. You see there is no greater medicine for unworthiness than connection. Let me say that again, being connected to others makes you feel worthy. Connection feels like sunshine, it’s happy, joyful, and inclusive. Don’t mistake being with someone who is a downer as being connected to another, That is not it. 

Why does connection seem to eliminate these feelings of unworthiness? It’s found in a chemical release in the brain. It is biologically impossible to feel critical of yourself and feel connected with another at the same time. The part of your brain that judges yourself is silenced by the part of the brain that allows closeness and connection. The connection response in your prefrontal cortex overrides other responses like judgment. Whoa! This is freaking amazing! 

Now that you know this, you have a secret weapon to fight off your entirely too critical inner critic. This is an invitation to you to get involved this holiday season. Spend time with people you enjoy and that lift you up. Get connected in your community and do for others and the by-product of that is actually doing for yourself. Make this a habit and soon you will find that you are building yourself up and realizing just how special you are.

Give yourself a gift of elevating your soul by making an effort to connect with others this holiday season and beyond.

Shine On!