By Jackie White
CON.FI.DENCE: Hear it? The word exudes strength. You can see it: shoulders back, head up and pride flowing from every pore. Do you have it? Do you feel the power of the word’s essence?
If you see this word and say “Hey Girl, I need some of that!”, then this is for you.
If you see that word and say “Yup, that’s me, I got it!” then this is for you too.
You see one of the secrets to living a full life is all about having the nerve to just be you. What does it take? A lot of times, nothing, you are just cool being you. Hanging with friends you trust or dancing your butt off in your living room usually is an easy space to just be you. But what about those times when you feel like you really want to step out and express yourself - the real you, but feel that maybe people will think you are deviating from the expected you.
Well, there is always that...the expected you. The safe and status quo you that doesn’t rock the boat or take too many risks. It’s ok and not scary. What’s the harm? Why can’t you stay in that comfort zone? You can, but you might miss out on some really cool stuff that could be part of you. Let me restate that, it’s not that you might miss out...you will miss out. Doh! I know you didn’t want me to say that, but here it is, maybe that's the message you needed the universe to deliver.
One more thing, if you are a mom, then you do not have a choice here. You must learn to be confident. You are your child’s role model and playing small only tells your child they too should play small. For any child, you are their voice in the world. When things aren’t fair or unkindnesses have been committed against your child, you must teach them to speak up for themselves. When you stay silent, they learn real quick that they too should stay quiet. Even worse, they might think they aren’t worth speaking up for. In the case of a child that has special needs, you especially must have confidence to speak up on their behalf. You are their advocate. Being timid could be detrimental to your child. So, c’mon you can do this!
Your Confidence Jeans
It’s time to roll up our sleeves and figure this CONFIDENCE thing out. You know what it is? It is something you might have to step into. It might feel like a pair of jeans that you desperately want to fit into, but just can’t get that top buttoned...yet! And that is it right there. Building your confidence is a bit like fitting into those jeans. It takes practice. You need to work out your skills!
Where Preparation Meets Opportunity
When an opportunity arises or better yet, you create the opportunity to practice your skills, you have to go for it. Dip your toe in to see how it feels. If, for example, you really want to learn to speak up for yourself more, then prepare yourself for that opportunity.
Power Posture: You might ask what the heck does my posture have to do with confidence? Everything! Don’t doubt me now, this works! Feeling the power of confidence in your body is key to preparing your confidence muscles.
Do the Wonder Woman: Stand in front of the mirror and put your hands on your hips, shoulders back, chin up and take a deep breath and breathe in the power. Imagine yourself in a place where you need to be confident and practice the stance. Channel your inner Wonder Woman!
Speak Up: Now whether you know what you are talking about or not, amplify your voice and speak strongly. (Politicians do this all the time - Lol!) When you do this, you exude confidence. Imagine the opposite, a quiet timid voice that is shaky is not a voice that conveys strength. It makes a difference. This is another skill you can practice at home in preparation for the opportunity.
Self-Kindness: Speak only words of positivity and confidence to yourself. When those negative words come seeping in, and they will, you must handle them. Having confidence to speak up to your own inner critic is a critical piece to fitting into those confidence jeans. Build yourself up, Buttercup! You can do this. Here’s how this works: You hear yourself saying something negative to yourself and right when you hear it, you stop it and replace that thought with a positive thought. You can prepare yourself for the dastardly inner critic by preparing positive affirmations that define the you, you want to be.
Ok, so you have prepared, the jeans are starting to fit a bit better. This is awesome! And then one day, the opportunity presents itself. You have a decision to make. Are you playing it safe and continuing to walk in your own shadow or are you putting on your Wonder Woman cape to accompany those confidence jeans? Your inner critic is now your inner cheerleading section telling you that you are awesome and you can do this! The jeans fit now! The crowd is roaring! Yes, you are so dang ready to do this!
I am so excited for you to gain your confidence and just be you because the world needs you to be who you really are! Don’t forget to keep working on fitting into those confidence jeans!
Now, go forward with CON.FI.DENCE and rock the world!
P.S. Keep working on yourself and building your confidence by signing up for the SoulShine Snap! Click the link below:
Jackie White has been writing about life and its ups and downs for many years. With a degree in Industrial Psychology and a life-long student of personal development she is intrigued by how each individual chooses to live their life. Jackie feels strongly that truly living your best life is imperative to attaining peace and fulfillment. SoulShine was borne of her desire to inspire and teach others to live their best life. This is her mission and her dream.