By Jackie White
I refuse to let time turn me into an old person. Some of you may goff at such an assertion, but I am telling you, I refuse. I have given this a lot of thought and researched how the hell I am going to dodge this bullet and I have a plan. I am going to share that with you today and I hope you find it to be inspiring enough that you jump on the “I ain’t getting’ old train” with me!
Let’s first make sure you can identify with this. None of us know when it starts setting in (Why is it that things “set-in” for old people?) Has this ever happened to you? You are in the store and you get a little annoyed thinking they could enlarge the font size on some of these labels. Or, how about this, you get a text and suddenly your smart phone’s font size is like mice type. You are really getting ticked now thinking why do they insist on making the font so small? And then it hits you, the font size hasn’t changed, but your eyes have! Gulp, you need readers. Sorry to let you know, Grandma Moses, it’s all downhill from now on.
Or, how about this fun realization. You are walking down your stairs and you hear an odd creak. You make a mental note to check out what’s going on only to realize that the creak isn’t the stairs at all, it’s your own damn knee! True story! Break out the Ben-Gay for your bursitus Bertha!
There’s more! You notice that there are more highlights in your hair, ok, maybe it’s grey, but you are not admitting that. You wake in the morning and you have pulled a hammie, yet the only thing you did was sleep. How can one sleep and hurt themselves? It can happen when you advance in age. Oh boy, here’s a real tell-tale sign of getting on in years: Have you caught yourself commenting on the kids “these days”, or are you constantly referring to “back in my day”. If any of this feels painfully true, I hate to tell you, but you are an old fogey.
It’s ok, just because time is passing, doesn’t mean you need to become the poster person for Geritol. If you need to ask what Geritol is, then you really aren’t that old!
The Plan to Foil Aging
Ok, here it is my plan, the plan you need to beat aging. Let’s start with a mind-blowing fact that you need to get your head wrapped around: 70% of all aging is voluntary. What? Who is raising their hand to join AARP? In the book “Younger Next Year”, it is explained that many of us get to an older age and we become apathetic.That's pathetic with an A, you don’t want to be that! This means you believe that getting old is inevitable and along with that comes becoming an old person and this where you would be wrong. Yes, things do age, like the body itself and yes, you get wrinkles (unless you live in Hollywood, then you just get plastic surgery and you look like a waxy version of the old you trying to look young). Whoops, getting snarky! Back to the point, there is a lot you can do to stay young. It is a choice. This is where you need to raise your hand and not sit by and let aging take you down.
Here’s what the choice entails: adopting a healthy lifestyle that includes:
Exercise: Exercise is the golden key to aging younger. According to Dr. Henry S. Lodge, you must exercise relatively vigorously almost everyday and lift weights 2-3 days of the week. Note: vigorously means check with your doctor, but you have to get some cardio in.
Nutrition: Eat what you are supposed to be eating (no, that’s not a staple diet of pizza, burgers and only rarely ingesting a vegetable. You need to drink water (a lot more than you think) and keep your weight in check. Again, check with your doc for the best guidelines for you.
Commitment: Commitment is about staying connected with other people, having a purpose and continued learning.
Let’s Break it Down (Not Break a Hip!)
Let’s get physical
Hey, even Olivia Newton John is getting old now and we need to heed her advice and get physical. Healthy aging is going to require you to get your butt up and start moving. When you don’t move as you get older you get stiff. Remember your grandpa doing that rocking thing as if he was trying to launch himself off the couch to get up? That is because his muscles were stiff and possibly weak. You don’t want to be rocking your old age like that!
Eat food, not too much, mostly plants
Michael Pollen, the author of “In Defense of Food”, has summed up the eating plan we should be following and that is “eat food, not too much, mostly plants”. Go ahead and stamp your foot and go have a big double cheeseburger, fries and chocolate shake, it’s the American way! Hey, I want that too, but at some point we have to decide if we want to be sticking around for a long time or if we want to be a patient in cardiology. Ouch. It’s the gosh-danged truth. You can have your all-American meal sometimes, but do the right thing at least 80% of the time. Only you can decide if that is a deal worth keeping.
Commit to staying connected in life
Studies have shown that people who live their longest happiest lives are those who stay connected to others. It’s important to get out there and get involved, make the phone call and reach out to others. It’s life enhancing. Equally as important is to have a reason for living. What is your purpose and how can you help others with that? Finally, keep your brain young by learning. Contrary to popular belief, you can teach an old dog new tricks, of course, not to imply that you are an old dog!
I would add one more very important aspect to living young and that is having the right attitude.
The right attitude
I inherited my attitude for not wanting to grow old from my mother who lived to be 86 years old. She too, refused to grow old. She had the best attitude. She never saw herself as old, in fact she told me she didn’t want to hang out with “old people” and by that she meant those who acted like old people. She surrounded herself with light-hearted, fun people, many times decades younger than herself. Add in more fun, laughing and enjoying life to it’s fullest as part of this attitude. Remember laughter is the best medicine!
One last thing, this time in your life can be the absolute best because it’s time for you to just be you! I say celebrate and embrace your weirdness! If you don’t do this now, then when? You can see the joy in people’s demeanor when they express their real selves by living their authentic life out loud. Those are the people who are defying gravity! Hit the gas because getting older gives you the green light, to just be you! So, adopt the things you need to do to take care of yourself and to avoid becoming an old, foot-shuffling, fuddy duddy. Grab this freeing opportunity to really begin living your life on your terms and join me in refusing to get old!
By Erika Fehrenbach Prell
Have you ever played this? If you haven’t been introduced with this popular ice breaker, I will quickly explain the rules. Everyone takes a turn telling 2 truths and 1 lie about themselves while guesses are thrown out about which is the lie. Once you get over the hardest part, which in my opinion is actually coming up with something to say, it’s quite entertaining and a fascinating way to get to know people. Like the real, interesting stuff about people.
As the ultimate in gratitude holidays, Thanksgiving, is about to unfold this week, I thought I might be able to serve you in 2 important ways. One, you might have something entertaining to play at the Thanksgiving table. As many of us are doing more intimate celebrations this year, feel free to put a Thanksgiving twist on it with 2 Dreams, 1 Fail or something like that. This might be particularly warranted if you don’t want to learn interesting details on family members' lives. Some things are best never known by your mother, if you catch my drift. Secondly, learning or refreshing on gratitude is a lesson that never goes out of style.
Without further ado, cue the game show music, it’s time to play 2 Truths, 1 Lie - Gratitude Edition!! (The crowd goes wild!!)
Gratitude Improves Your Physical and Mental Health - TRUTH
Study after study after study has consistently shown gratitude improves both. People have reported less aches and pains and general feelings of better health when practicing gratitude. Interestingly, people practicing gratitude are more likely to actively take care of their health through exercise and nutrition. Gratitude has shown to reduce the toxic negative feelings like envy, resentment, frustration, and regret, replacing these feelings with happiness. That’s positivity repelling negativity in action, DreamChaser!
Gratitude Increases Mental Toughness - TRUTH
Again, good ole study results indicate gratitude helps your mental toughness by reducing stress and increasing resiliency. Those practicing gratitude also report less feelings of depression, too! Even more reason to work out that gratitude muscle!
Gratitude is Hard to Practice - LIE
Well, sort of. Here’s the thing. Gratitude is super easy to do, but it’s also super easy NOT to do. To benefit from all that gratitude has to offer, which is way more than what I listed here, you just have to be grateful. Thanks, Erika, but how do I BE grateful?!? So glad you asked! The simplest way for me to start practicing gratitude was to write down 1 thing every morning that I was grateful for and why. You don’t have to write them down but I find it makes it easier for me to do. You can also use gratitude prompts to help you start. And, obvi, we got your back there, too! Grab the SoulShine 21 Day gratitude journal here →
The hardest part about practicing gratitude is like any other habit; it’s remembering to do it. I have an empty journal and pen sitting at my bedside table. When I wake up, I grab that journal and write down my 1 thing I am grateful for and why. This is how I intentionally set my day with a positive, happiness vibe. And, on days I feel down, I grab that journal and read all the things I am grateful for...it’s an instant mood elevator!
By the way, we are grateful for YOU being here, DreamChaser. We are grateful to be able to serve you on your journey to living your best life with fun, inspiration and intention. Thank you for trusting us in guiding you and journeying with you!
Have a Happy and Grateful Thanksgiving! Shine on!
P.S. We would love to hear what YOU are grateful for! Drop it in the comments!
By Erika Fehrenbach Prell
It’s right in the name. NO-vember. What a perfect time to practice that all important time and energy protector...saying no. This is so important to live your very best life but, alas, it is used way too infrequently. John Maxwell hit the nail on the head when he said to “say no to the good so you can say yes to the best”.
The truth is we typically don’t say yes to horrible things...those are easy to say no to. If we are being completely honest with ourselves and where our time goes, we say yes way too often to ‘meh’ things. Things that aren’t horrible but do not serve us the best. Things that do not add to our joy, fulfillment, purpose. Things that drain our energy and take away from our lives rather than add positivity and joy to it. By saying 'yes' to the ‘meh’ rather than saving it for the best means our precious time is taken up. So, when that best yes does appear, that thing that will be a light in our lives, we have no choice but to say no because we can’t fit it in. Ugh. Tough but truthful pill to swallow.
That’s the bottom line, DreamChaser. We only have so much time, and it’s time to be intentional where we are spending it. This is one way to get on the path to our best lives! NO-vember is as good a time as any to get started with this practice. Why? A mind hack is very helpful to remember to act differently, to interrupt that automatic response of saying 'yes' before we can think about if that yes serves us. Thinking it’s “NO-vember” allows us a moment to pause and assess so we can be intentional. Being intentional means we are participating in our lives, we are choosing our adventure, instead of going into automatic mode.
Need a little more help? Here is the SoulShine Best Yes Checklist. Before you say ‘yes’, ask yourself these questions:
Does this commitment...
-Give me a sense of purpose?
-Fill me up?
-Add to my feelings of worth?
-Give me enjoyment?
-Align with my priorities?
If the answer to any of these questions is no, say no to the commitment. It really is that easy...don't overthink it! I encourage you to take it one step further. Too often, a feeling of guilt of letting people down fuels our ‘yes’ to commitments. It’s okay to say no - there is no guilt to be had in your pursuit of your best, most fulfilled, fun, inspired, intentional life! So, once you have said no, let it go! The SoulShine Best Yes Checklist can also be used to assess current commitments, those meh yes’s of the past. Want time back in your life? Use this checklist to assess your current obligations and let go of those that are not serving you, those that are not your best yes.
Let’s get our NO-vember on and practice saying no to ‘meh’ so we can say ‘YES’ to the best! Shine on!
By Jackie White
Coronavirus has taken a lot. It has taken all that we once knew as our everyday life. Quite literally, every aspect of the life we knew before has changed. For some, it has taken much more. It has taken the lives of loved ones, and for that, I am truly sorry.
The Loss of the Life We Once Knew
There is something going on we may not be realizing and that is we are living with a sense of grief right now. We are grieving the loss of the life we used to live. Our jobs, schools, and everyday tasks like shopping or dental appointments have been altered. The gatherings with families and friends have been drastically reduced with many special events like graduations, weddings and even funerals being canceled. Glimpses of normalcy surface now and again, but all of this has left many of us grieving the loss of the life we once lived.
Grief is usually associated with the loss of a loved one. However, people can experience grief for other reasons such as a major disruption in life. It’s an understatement to say that our lives have been disrupted. They have been turned upside down and rattled in almost every way possible,so, it is no wonder we are all feeling some grief about that. It is important to recognize the stages of grief, work through them and find the acceptance, hope and gratitude on the other side.
The Stages of Grief
Shock and Denial: This is when the event occurs and feelings are often significant. Disbelief and denial are expected responses.
Guilt and Pain: Once the denial subsides, the guilt, regret and pain of the situation can be felt. Remorse for the loss can set in as well.
Anger and Bargaining: During this stage anger sets in about the situation. Because reversing the situation is impossible, frustration can also be apparent. In an attempt to control the situation, many will try to bargain with a Higher Power. Many try to make a deal with God that if only you could have your life back (or the life of a loved one), you would be a better person. Because cutting deals like this aren’t realistic, the next step of grief, depression, can be apparent.
Depression: Depression and suicide rates have skyrocketed during the pandemic because people are having difficulty dealing with their feelings and situation. Many are isolated because of social distancing which has added to this unfortunate situation.
Testing and Reconstruction: These stages work together in that a person begins to realize the toll their grief is taking on their life and they begin to identify ways to reconstruct and rebuild their lives. Seeking ways to deal with grief and setting goals for the future are helpful to move onto the next stage.
Acceptance and Hope: This stage allows for the opportunity to acknowledge how the grief has affected us and it’s time to choose to rebuild your life.
It is almost 7 months into this situation, and it’s likely time for many to accept and acknowledge what has happened. With that acceptance, we need to make room for hope and gratitude. For it is nature’s way for the sun to shine after the rain and this experience is no exception. The coronavirus and it’s ramifications may still be with us for some time, but we need to relieve ourselves of the loss.
Finding Hope and Gratitude
To find hope you must have a desire to persevere and the faith that good will come. Maybe that’s asking a lot right now, but the other choice is choosing to feel badly about what has happened. To move on, you must choose hope. What will help you along with this is making a conscious effort to be grateful for what you do have. Each day find 3 things to be grateful for. Write these down, so you can refer to them later. Once you see there are things to be grateful for, your attitude will begin to shift. Your mood will become brighter, and the hope for the future will be stronger.
Finding hope and gratitude will lift your spirits and help you to recognize that you can move forward with your life, albeit maybe in a new direction or definition of what you thought it might look like. Choosing to look at the pandemic as an opportunity to move your life forward is going to be the silver lining and good in the grief.
Hang in there.
Hold on to hope.
Choose gratitude and
By Jackie White
Dang, don’t you hate waiting? Waiting for someone who is late is totally aggravating. Waiting for the weather to change, you know, like for us sunshine-needers, we need sun, we can’t wait for those rays to warm our faces! Or maybe we are waiting for a bus or an uber. Could they just hurry-up already? Then there is the dreaded waiting in line. I mean who enjoys waiting?
Seriously, I am a mostly patient person, but if I have to wait too long, I might blow a gasket! Yet curiously, I have noticed many of us are doing a lot of voluntary waiting these days. I am actually disappointed to report that I too have been playing this waiting game!
You are saying, what is going on? What waiting game? You hate waiting too. You are not a time waster! Those are all the things I say to myself yet, people, we have all fallen asleep in the Scarlet Field of Poppies, just like Dorothy and her friends on the way to Oz!
Here’s what I am talking about. One day back in March 2020, the world was shut down. We complied and waited for the restrictions to lift and the virus to dissipate. That is when it started. That is when Corona started robbing you of your time.
7 months later, we are still waiting! I have realized, I have been doing nothing but waiting for months on end! Oh, the horror!
I have been waiting to
...get back to life as it was
...check in on my goals
...get back to life as it was
...reschedule that doctor appointment
...get back to life as it was
...go on that vacation
...get back to life as it was
...get back on my healthy eating plan
...get back to life as it was
...visit my friends (socially distanced, of course)
...get back to life as it was
And now I realize that I have let more than a half of a year pass me by while I have been waiting for things to change, you know, go back to normal. I have been waiting for my life to get back to where it was. Here’s the thing, it ain't gonna happen anytime soon! So, for those of you who are still sleeping in the poppies, WAKE UP! Hey, life is still moving forward, and we need to as well!
We need a plan! A plan is always good. We need a plan not to get back on track, but to forge a new track. Yes, for all you “I hate change” people, we have to change. We just HAVE to.
So, here we go into unknown territory. We can do this. We aren’t wusses! Let’s get t-shirts made that say that! I am excited! Let’s show the world that we can live successful, fulfilling lives despite a pandemic!
Where do we start? With any adventure, we should always start with the end in mind. Huh? Well, like the old adage, if you don’t know where you are going, you’ll probably end up somewhere else. That is not going to be us because we have wasted enough time as it is.
Start backing into the dream peeps…
So, for this portion of the adventure, I would like you to pretend I am a cheerleader. Just go with it, it'll be fun! Ready? Ok first I shout:
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Now it’s your turn, what do you want out of life? Go ahead, write it down and don’t shout back because I won’t hear you. Duh.
Ok, my turn now. I am shouting again…
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET IT?
Your turn, think through how you are going to get it. What steps? Make them snappy, too, because, Girl (or in the event you are not a girl, Man), you have lost a lot of time sleeping through the pandemic! Make sure to write it down!
Ok, the cheerleading portion of this blog is now over. Well, at least the shouting part. I do, however, want to cheer you on and light a fire under your butt to get back to doing your life. Hey, maybe you really weren’t happy with parts of your life before anyway, so what a great opportunity to wipe the slate clean and do something new!
So, let’s get to it my friends. We can imagine we are pioneers blazing the trail of a new and improved life! We are galloping towards the horizon...Oh, c’mon, I need to put some dramatic imagery in here once in a while! Regardless, however, you envision it, just move forward. Wake up and stop waiting because you don’t want anymore of your life passing you by!
Now get up off your butt and Shine On!
Not Just an Annoying Pick Up Line -How I Turned A Time Wasting Aggravation into the Ultimate in Self-Care
By Erika Fehrenbach Prell
We all have pet peeves, right? You know, things like open mouthed chewers, double dippers, or tailgators (and, I am not talking about the fun, pre-game festivities fun kind of tailgating). Those things that instantly get your blood boiling, taking you from chill to seeing-red irate in a hot second. Wanna know my biggest pet peeve? The elementary school drop-off and pick-up line. It shocked me to find out my biggest pet peeve didn’t make the top 20 list! Obviously, the list-makers have never experienced the lamest and most obnoxious of all pick-up lines!
Every year, right before school starts, the school district sends out an email correspondence outlining expectations on proper drop-off/pick-up line etiquette in an attempt to make everything go smoothly and quickly. I will confess that our new district is way nicer than the district we moved from four years ago. At our previous school, the principal was pretty hard core; the gold standard for drop-off was pretty close to tuck-and-roll. Everyone followed the rules so as not to get emails or phone calls from the principal for holding up the line. At our new school district, however, the drop-off expectations are seen more as loose suggestions rather than hard core expectations; the amount of parents getting out of the cars in line as well as student “dawdling” is remarkable. Fortunately, my husband started taking drop-off as his morning duty.
As if drop-off wasn’t bad enough, the pick-up line response is “hold my beverage ‘cause it’s my turn”. Here’s where the real insanity starts. While the morning drop-off line might go as slow as a turtle in peanut butter, it at least moves. Eventually. Not at pick-up. The cars don’t move at all in the pick up lines. Not only that, but the lines aren’t wide enough to get around a waiting car once you have retrieved your own precious snowflake. To get the best spot in the line, meaning being at the front causing the hold up, you need to be in line at least thirty minutes before school is out; from start to finish, this is a good 40 to 60 minutes of wasted time spent in my stressful place. Ugh. In an attempt to avoid the pick-up line debacle, I started parking and waiting outside, battling the elements for my pokey little puppy to finally appear. That worked great until bonus baby, Lucy, arrived and waiting in the Wisconsin bipolar weather was not an option. I did the pick up line dance a few times with baby in tow then it was time for a new plan. Sorry, kids, bus it is...even if you don’t get home for over an hour after school is out!
Plan solved, moving on, chaos calmed. Phew.
Cue sinister music, enter the pandemic from stage left. So far, we are fortunate to have some in person schooling. One part of the plan to keep school in session and social distancing a possibility was requesting that the bus only be used for kids with no other alternative to get to and from school. Guess what that meant, friends? Not only was it back to the drop-off and pick-up lines circus, compound the crazy with ten times more people using them. The only way to describe this spectacle concisely and accurately is absolute shit-show...sorry, not sorry. (Props to the school district and local police for making adjustments to speed it up in those first few days...and to the parents for mostly following the rules after it was made clear stepping out of line was no longer tolerated.)
Like everyone else during this time, my coping mechanisms seem to have severely diminished. I have very little reserve before I am pushed off the proverbial cliff. I knew that for me to not turn into a raging lunatic, screaming my head off at every infraction, I needed to figure out a plan to regain the calm in the chaos and personal hell that was the drop off/pick up line. My sanity, and possibly a future criminal record for assault, depended on it.
In the past, whenever I was in the car for longer than 10 minutes, I often turned to audiobooks to occupy my time. Audiobooks are an awesome strategy for transforming wasted time into the ultimate in productive time. When we lived in the Madison area, just about everywhere I went was more than a 10 minute drive. Here in the EC (Eau Claire for those not familiar, calling it the EC sounds cooler in my head. Reminiscent of the OC, Orange County. Stop judging and give me this little joy...lol.), everything seems to be 5 to 10 minutes max from door to door. Since this is too short a time for me to get into the audiobook groove, I have gotten out of this habit. Now that the pick-up line has turned into a minimum of a 20 minute commitment, perhaps, my saving grace was found!
This has been a game changer! Now, this stressful and complete time-wasting aggravation has turned into, get this, one of my favorite times of day. I am as shocked as you are, friends, to be admitting this. I get twenty to thirty minutes of enjoying my latest personal growth and development audiobook, mostly by myself. I mean, Lucy is with me but she’s facing backwards in the second row, strapped into her carseat, usually playing with a book or toy. As in, contained and not causing her normal toddler tornado that requires constant supervision and intervention to prevent catastrophe. This snippet in my day has become the much-needed and oft-forgotten self-care time, allowing me to recharge and destress, all the while working on becoming the best version of me.
You might be saying, that was entertaining, but so what...what does that have to do with me? Friends, DreamChasers, if you would have told me that the item on the very top of my pet peeves list could have an extreme makeover into my favorite part of my day, I would have rolled my eyes and responded with something super sarcastic. The actual drop-off and pick-up situation actually worsened from when it made my pet peeve list. So, what changed?
Me. I changed. I made a different choice. I chose to find a different way, to transform an aggravating life situation into one that served me. Guess what? So can you...and, you might be as shocked as me to realize it isn’t that hard to do. It’s as simple as intentionally changing the situation to serve you, rather than happen to you. With a little intention guiding your choice, you might just find fun and inspiration in the places that aggravation and stress once were. Life is too short to dwell on regrets, rather, I choose to use that feeling of regret as a catalyst to evaluate a potential life lesson. So, instead of regretting that I didn’t bring audiobooks back sooner, I am grateful for the opportunity to bring them back into my daily life.
You got this, DreamChaser! Shine on!
By Erika Fehrenbach Prell
Whoa...it’s November. Seriously, how did that happen?!? Halloween, however it manifested in your life this year, is over, and what does that mean? Christmas preparation is in full swing. It always amazes me how fast the turnover is...candy and pumpkins one day, LED trees and Santa the next. And, perhaps, the obligatory section featuring Tom the Turkey for Thanksgiving. With the holiday season comes another thing or things or many, many things.
No, not stress, indigestion and headache. (I mean, that might come as well...don’t worry, we will help you calm that chaos, too.) I am talking about traditions...all those things that you do every year to celebrate the season. Decking the halls, inside and out. Getting the tree and decorating it. Black Friday shopping with your crazy aunts. Baking cookies. Caroling. The work parties. Shopping and wrapping, then shopping some more. Traveling to this relative and that relative and the other relative. The Elf on the (frickin’) Shelf...
The list of traditions goes on and on and on. My stress level is going up just reading this, and half of these aren’t even things we do!
Stop a minute. Take a deep, cleansing, calming breath. Reset that mindset and listen. I’m about to present you with the opportunity of a lifetime. Are you ready?!?
Under the guise of tradition, you may find that some of these have actually become obligations; things you really dread doing but feel you have to. Or, something that you started around the holidays because it seemed fun or you didn’t want your kids to miss out. (I know there are those that adore Elf on the Shelf but this is a very common parental trap that is often regretted once started, especially if you start getting more creative than just moving Elfie from place to place each night.) Have you found yourself thinking, “I wish we didn’t have to…..”, fill in the blank with whatever obligation, err, sorry, holiday tradition, that you inwardly can’t stand.
Enter a worldwide pandemic and an unexpected opportunity to save your holiday! You can use the pandemic as an excuse, err, opportunity, to break up with those traditions that don’t serve you!! Like…
-Elf on the Shelf...sorry, Santa has the Elves on quarantine!
-Traveling to your third-cousin-twice-removed house 4 hours away...so sorry, the pandemic!
-Black Friday shopping...oh, can’t social distance!
-Caroling in the freezing cold...masks interfere with my singing, I’m out!
Are you picking up what I’m putting down? Do you hear me cluckin’, big chicken? Are you smellin’ what I’m steppin’ in? Okay, I know I am being a little silly but silly is fun, and we all need more fun. (As a bonus, try out any of those phrases if you want a fantastic reaction from people.)
Here’s the honest truth about holidays. A big part of holiday stress is overcommitment, trying to pack too many things into too small of a time. All these things sneak up on you and compound over time. Because they are traditions, or at least events you have participated in a long time, you might feel terrible backing out or saying no, even if they only bring stress and not enjoyment to your holiday. This is your opportunity to take back your holiday, ditch the obligations, and redesign the season to bring you joy and peace, not stress and headache.
Time to Break Up With the Tradition Assessment:
Let’s face it. Coronaville is going to change how our holidays unfold, even some of the things that bring you absolute joy may need modifications. This is an opportunity to save the traditions that you absolutely love and figure out how to still do them safely or replace them with something else. The Time to Break Up With the Tradition Assessment will uncover what needs to go, what needs to stay, and what is worth changing to fit with the times. This is your opportunity to take back your holiday and recreate it the way you want without judgement or interrogations - because it’s the pandemic (wink, wink).
Don’t miss this opportunity of a lifetime! Shine on!
By Jackie White
C’mon and jump on board the Souuuuul Train with me! If you grew up during the 70’s, you know what I am talking about, but, the funny thing is this isn’t about learning new funk dance moves, it is actually about your soul.
On this occasion of All Souls Day, I invite you to board the Soul Train with me. All Soul’s Day is a celebration of our family members who have crossed over. When that person leaves the physical world, they still are remembered in spirit. This lingering spirit is intertwined with the soul. Your soul is the root of who you are and everyone has one. Have you ever felt like your intuition was nudging you in a certain way? Well, that is your soul speaking to you. Your soul is speaking to you all the time. It is who you are in the most authentic sense. It's what makes you, you.
Deep shit, right? Yep, but hang in there, this is good stuff.
You hear personal development people always talking about “finding yourself” or “following your purpose in life”. Ok, so I admit it, that’s me. I am always talking about that and do you know why? Because it is very important to live your life from your most authentic self. When you aren’t doing what you love or if what you are doing really doesn’t align with who you really are, you are not living up to your potential. I am also going to venture that you may not be as happy as you could be.
So, what does the soul have to do with any of this? Your soul is who you are. It’s the little kid inside you who used to like painting so much, but you never do it anymore because grown ups don’t do that. Your soul is all of those creative ideas you have that excite you! It’s that thing you have to do. It’s that thing you would do everyday if you could, and you would do it for no money at all. That is what is in your soul. Pull up a seat, let’s chat. So, when you think of who you really are, by what measure do you define yourself? Take a moment, I’ll wait...
Here’s a hint, you are not your job. I know, that makes it harder, right? Look at it this way, if you work as a doctor, a teacher or a volunteer, all these jobs mean that you like to help people. Look deeper into that aspect of helping people as part of who you are. Now, if you are doing a job like that and you can’t stand it, then you are not living in your wheelhouse.
Now, back to our chat, if you are being honest, who are you really? Are you doing what you love or are you doing what you think you are supposed to be doing?
Ok, so let’s play a little what if. What if the ticket to happiness was following your soul’s direction? What if your life’s plan is held within your soul and if you just listened, you would be living a life of fulfillment and meaning?Are you thinking you have got to get a hold of this soul ASAP? Can you text or set a zoom call? What about a socially distanced lunch date? How the heck do you get on the Soul Train?
You may suddenly be seeing how important this is because the key to your happiness is lying in wait. Waiting with your soul.
Don’t call 911
This is an emergency, but don’t call 911. It’s an emergency because you don’t want to miss another day not knowing the direction you should be heading in life. I can help point you in the right direction and get on the Soul Train. First you need to know that you don’t need a ticket to ride, only the desire to get in touch with your authentic self. Now, that’s a deal, not too many things in life are free and this may very well be the deal of a lifetime!
Getting on the Soul Train - How to Get in Touch with Your Soul
Make Time: You have to make time to connect with your soul, that is, your authentic self. What I am saying is make a date with yourself and make it a priority to learn your soul’s purpose.
Get Quiet: Take time each day to quiet your mind. Some call this meditating, but don’t get weirded out by that word, just be quiet if that feels better to you. Clear out all your thoughts and concentrate on your breathing. Let the stresses of the day melt away and sit in peace. There are tons of meditations on You Tube to help guide you through this process.
Listen: Listen to what you hear, sense or feel. If an image pops into your mind, think of what the meaning of that image is to you. Sometimes you may hear something in your mind, listen to that voice. That is your inner voice or your soul speaking.
Ask: If you have any questions, ask them before you meditate/get quiet. The thing to remember here is if you don’t ask you won’t know, so ask away!
Write It Down: This step is important. Write down what you hear, sense or feel. Sometimes it might take a few days before what was relayed makes sense. The journal will help you take your experience, put meaning to it and translate it to actionable steps.
Get on the Soul Train: Now that you have a process and a mode in which to speak with your soul, take what you have learned and put it into action in your life. None of this will serve you unless you take action. This is not a time to chicken out!
Once you have ridden on the Soul Train for a while, you will find you have actually always been on it, but just didn’t know it. Tap into your soul, your inner voice, your authentic self frequently and you will soon find yourself aligned and living the life you were always meant to live.
See, that wasn’t so hard was it? Maybe some of you have stuck around to see if I am actually going to teach some funky dance moves. Sorry to disappoint, but not today. However, I hope perhaps this exercise has inspired you to jump on board the Soul Train with me!
Jackie White has been writing about life and its ups and downs for many years. With a degree in Industrial Psychology and a life-long student of personal development she is intrigued by how each individual chooses to live their life. Jackie feels strongly that truly living your best life is imperative to attaining peace and fulfillment. SoulShine was borne of her desire to inspire and teach others to live their best life. This is her mission and her dream.