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Dear Hot Mess Express…A Message to the Overwhelmed, Uninspired, and I’m-Just-Over-It Peeps!

8/31/2020

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By Erika Fehrenbach Prell
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Y’all, listen up! 

(Busted, I’m not from Texas but sometimes I just really think this little phrase works so well!) 

Adulting was already hard, then this pandemic came along and has made it even harder on so many levels. Yes, we here at SoulShine are all about finding the blessings in the stressings, flipping the script on negativity, pushing through adversity to grow...that hasn’t changed. But, sometimes, we just need to be seen and heard and acknowledge that this just sucks. If the mantra of your life right now is Hot Mess Express, today is your day!
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To the Overwhelmed,

The Uninspired,

The I’m-Just-Over-It Peeps,

And, finally, Dear Hot Mess Express,

I see you. You are not invisible. Your hot mess might be different than mine. Your struggles, frustrations, irritations, and feelings are unique, just like you are. Here’s the thing...we are all having moments that fall in the overwhelmed, the uninspired, the I’m-Just-Over-It, the Hot Mess category. We are all hot messes trying to navigate through a time that we did not expect and could not plan for. No one on this planet has experienced this situation before. Everyone is doing the best they can to get through this, and that includes you.

Yelling at your kids doesn’t make you a bad mom. Longing to be by yourself doesn’t make you a bad spouse. Kids on too much screen? So what. Everyone is living off of ramen noodles and peanut butter sandwiches instead of homemade, organic, non-GMO meals? It’s fine. Everything your significant other does is driving you crazy? Been there. Going through the motions at your job? Check! Insert whatever you are currently beating yourself up on here....

You are being too hard on yourself. There, I said it. You are doing great. You really are, even if it doesn’t feel like it. You need to give yourself grace. The grace to just be. The grace to do what feels right in the moment. The grace that you are doing the best you can during this time for yourself and others. 

I want you to know that I see you. 

You are not alone on the struggle bus...it’s a full ride.

This time will end. It’s just a season in your life.

Give yourself grace.

Show yourself kindness.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Ask for help.

Feel the feels without shame or guilt.

Share your struggles and frustrations with someone. 

You are stronger than you think, and way more capable that you give yourself credit for.

This time has turned out to be a marathon, not a sprint. It’s taking stamina to go the distance and flexibility to roll with the unexpected twists. There will be days that you will feel on top of the world, days that you want to quit, days when the finish line seems too far, and every variation in between. Be brave and share your struggles. Stop pretending that everything is okay. You don’t have to be a warrior. You don’t have to go it alone or be all the things for everyone. Together we can get through this.

I just want you to know that I see you. You are not invisible. You may be overwhelmed, uninspired, and just-over-it. You might think you are a hot mess. I think your hot mess is beautiful and just what the world needs right now.

Shine on, DreamChaser! We got this together! ❤EFP

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Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End. Your Guide to Managing Change in The Opening and Closing of The Chapters of Life

8/27/2020

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By Jackie White
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Every life is a story. Each day is a page we write and with time we are continually opening and closing chapters. This month at SoulShine we are going to present a series on the many chapters of our lives. One commonality with life’s chapters is that they all involve change. 

Life ebbs and flows with periods of change. Some are expected and anticipated thresholds like markers of age, relationships, career and/or parenthood. The chapters we look forward to make the chapters we leave behind much easier to close. One thing for sure is that the more proficient you become at managing change, the better equipped you will be to handle the chapters you don’t look forward to.
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Change is Good…

Yes, change is good. Some people cringe when they hear that, but we all need change to grow. In order to really experience life fully, you must continue to grow and learn and try new things. Now, does change cause stress? Yes, it can, but if you are prepared, you can face change and the stress it may bring.

How to Prepare for Change

Change is inevitable and the opening and closing of chapters in life will happen no matter if you are ready or not. Let’s take the proactive approach and choose to prepare:
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Anticipate What is Coming Down the Pipeline: Many changes in a person’s life can be anticipated, but many times we choose to ignore or deny the impending change. When we choose to face change head on, even before it’s arrival, we are able to handle it much more successfully. In the pre-change period we can think through how the change will affect us and how we can choose to find some positive aspects to the change. If that feels too optimistic, then we can choose to accept and move on instead.

Be Calm and Move Through It: Sometimes we make such a big deal about an impending change that it has become the veritable mountain out of a molehill. Sometimes it is just best to move through to the next chapter without so much fanfare. Keeping it calm and even-keeled can keep the stress levels down. 

Acknowledge the Anxiety: If the anxiety of change has grabbed a hold of you, the best thing you can do is to face that anxiety head on by acknowledging it. If you are scared or unsure, that is ok. If it makes you feel better, talk your fears out with a trusted friend. They may be able to lend some perspective to the situation you hadn’t considered. 
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Live in the Present: It is easy to get caught up in the emotions of what has happened or what might happen. When you let those feelings take over, you have chosen to not live presently. Be grateful for the moment in time you are in today and don’t relive the past or awfulize the future.

Time Out: When change happens, it can be overwhelming and take up much of your energy. Put yourself in a self-imposed time out to take a break from what might be going on. Talk a walk, take a nap or do something you enjoy that takes your mind off of the change. Even 10 minutes of stopping and taking a break for yourself can be enough to recharge your batteries.

Whether the chapter you are opening or closing is happy, sad, intended or a complete surprise, your ability to manage the change will determine your experience. SoulShine’s series will cover major life chapters like parenthood, empty nest, divorce, career, getting a pet and more. Join us throughout the month of September to delve further into these life moments.

Shine on!
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How to Successfully Set School Year Expectations with Your Children(Beware of This Pitfall!)

8/24/2020

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By Erika Fehrenbach Prell
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One of the best ways to learn is from others' mistakes and missteps; today, I am going to get real with you in an area where I have made errors...setting expectations with my children for the school year. The interesting thing is I had no idea I was making a misstep and thought I was doing a great job. The pitfall I discovered was a simple missing step in the process, and I want to shed light on it so you can avoid it yourself.

Let’s get clear on what I am talking about in regards to expectations. In the Oxford dictionary expectation is defined as “a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future”. Expectations that you hold for yourself can be a positive force in your life when you are working towards a goal or trying to put yourself in a positive mindset; I’m referring to the concept of what you think about, you bring about. As we have discussed in the past, though, thinking about what you want in life is not the same as taking the actions required to get them, right, DreamChaser? 

The other side of expectations is when you hold expectations for others, like, for instance, your children. Expectations in this instance can be very positive, guiding your children towards achievements and accomplishments. But, beware of the pitfall that I fell into! Lack of communication! That’s right, DreamChaser, the place we fall short in setting expectations is actually communicating them to the person we have them for! We fall into assuming that the other person knows what we expect, why we expect it, and how to get there; and, it is the why and the how pieces that are often overlooked and are the difference makers in successfully achieving those expectations.
This is exactly where I realize I have made my missteps. My husband and I have communicated with our children that we expect them to give their best effort in school. We talk a lot about it being okay and expected to fail in their attempts, especially when it is a new topic, and that failure is the best way to improve their skills. We have actually gone so far in this piece to focus on what they have failed at in a day at school versus what they have succeeded at. We have outlined expectations for reading a certain amount of time daily and finishing any required schoolwork before they get the coveted screen time. We celebrated wins from teachers and discussed how to readjust the sails to continue to excel. We were rocking it, right? Since we encourage celebrating wins, these were definitely good things in the parenting department! 

But, then, why did they complain about and resist doing the things we expected them to do? Didn’t they understand that those were the pieces to get them to achieve what we expected??

The simple answer is no, no they did not understand because we did not talk about that part of our expectations. Many of the pieces were in place with the glaring exceptions of the why and the how! The why behind expectations supports the importance of the expectation while the how shows the path to make the expectations become reality. We are all about sports in this house, so sports analogies serve us well. The boys understand that to be a better pitcher or batter in baseball requires putting in the repetitions by practicing. When it came to the expectations we held for them in regards to school performance, we told them what we expected of them but forgot to explain why and how! 
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As we head into perhaps the craziest school year any of us parents, past or present, have ever experienced, setting clear expectations for your children is more important than ever. Here are 5 tips to help you in the process:

Make Expectations Clear to Yourself First
You can't explain what your expectations are to others if you aren't sure of them yourself! Take a moment to get clarity of what your expectations are and why they are important to you and your child's future success. 

Keep the Individual in Mind
Since every person is individual, the expectations for each child in your family may have slight variations based on individual interests, preferences, and abilities. To set your child up for school success, and keep from beating your head against the wall of frustration, individualizing your expectations is important rather than a one-size-fits-all approach. 

Brainstorm Session With Your Child 
Here is the crucial step to avoid the common pitfall of miscommunication! Explain your expectations including why you feel they are important and why you have them for that child. Then, work with your child to figure out how to reach them. Having your child be part of the process may help with buy in and commitment.

Write Them Down with the Plan
Once you have the expectations defined with a plan, have your child write this down. Useful tools here might be a schedule, checklists, or progress tracker.

Reassess and Readjust 
At the end of each week, take time to check progress. Are assignments completed? How is your child progressing? Check in with your child's teachers to see if there are any concerns or to seek further clarification on assignments or expectations. This is the time to adjust your expectations based on how things are going. You may need to reinforce, rediscuss, or redesign the process with your student to continue moving in a positive direction. 

I know…I know...this sounds like it will take effort. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, DreamChaser; one of our goals at SoulShine is to give you guidance while keeping it real. With some exceptions, many of us parents are not teachers. This virtual school was not part of the plan but here we are. Setting expectations with your children will take effort and time. But, like many things, the effort you put into this will pay off in spades and make this virtual school year go more smoothly. You might just find it's a process worth continuing. 

You got this, Dreamchaser! Shine on!
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Who is this Ed Technology and How Did He End Up At My Dining Room Table? What You Need to Know About Virtual Learning in Order to Succeed

8/20/2020

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By Jackie White
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Ed Technology, short for educational technology, needs to be your friend over the next few months as most of us are schooling virtually. When you become familiar with Ed Technology you will be infinitely more capable of handling your child’s schooling at home.
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This Ain’t Your Mama’s Filmstrip Friday
Gone are the days of the AV (Audio Visual) Guy who came into the classroom to set up a film strip. Instead, today we have become almost inseparable with technology and classrooms are no exception. Funny thing though, the classroom has now landed in the middle of your dining room and you feel like you have just been dropped into a reality you didn’t sign up for. 

Don’t Worry, Ed Tech Has Gotchu!
Actually, my friend and and most excellent ed technology teacher, Julia Xistris and her co-worker Kiley Ogodogu have been so kind to help us out with navigating the world of virtual schooling from a technological standpoint.

Good Ol’ Ed Technology Brings You the Basics

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Devices
Many school districts provide devices to the students. Julia and Kiley say that if your child is more comfortable using another device that should be fine, but this should be communicated to the teacher so they know the platform needs. Ensure your child charges their device each night.
Ed’s Tough Love Tip: If they are using a device not issued by school make sure your little angel isn’t sneaking onto games or other sites during the school day.
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Connectivity
Make sure your internet connections are stable. If they are not it will wreak havoc with your child’s daily activities. Decide if a new router or an internet booster may help your stabilization of connection.
Ed’s Tough Love Tip: Disney Circle has a device that can control connectivity of all of your home’s devices. This might be helpful if you have a game system like XBox because you can block access during school hours. Your child will think this blasphemy.
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The Importance of Digital Citizenship
Digital citizenship refers to the responsible use of technology by anyone who uses computers, the Internet, and digital devices to engage with society on any level. It is not something that should be a new concept to your children or students if they are utilizing online platforms of any sort. Parents should take an active role in overseeing their child’s digital life. CommonSenseMedia.org has helpful information on digital citizenship as well as reviews and recommendations on games, movies, videos and other media topics.  
Ed’s Tough Love Tip: You are in charge and have not only the right but the duty to check your child’s devices. Make sure to set up restrictions to block certain sites or content on the devices your child has access to. The honor system is hard to stick to when temptation is one click away.
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Platforms
There are several platforms that your child’s schooling can be delivered on. Common platforms include Google Classroom, Schoology, Canvas or Inkling. Find out which one your child is using and get familiar with it and stay in communication with your child’s teacher on how you can best utilize it in your role. Google Classroom is widely used and is likely the platform you may be working with.
Ed’s Tough Love Tip: Don’t skip the step on understanding how to navigate the platform your child’s school is using. Your role will require you to ensure that your child is doing their work and knowledge of the platform’s functionality will be necessary. This is something you can’t fake your way through.

The Checklist of Success Strategies for
Virtual Learning

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Ed’s Strategy Summary for Parent Preparation: 
Educate, Communicate, Inebriate (Just kidding on the last one...well, sort of)

Educate:
-Identify the platform your child will be using each day and familiarize yourself with it.
-Check to see if your child’s school offers technological support to families.
- If the tech tool or platform is challenging to use, YouTube has many tutorials available. 
-If your child is using Google Classroom ask the teacher to turn on parent notifications so that you are updated on missing assignments and what assignments are coming due.

Communicate: 
-Establish communication and expectations with your child’s teacher.
-Establish expectations with your child and communicate often on assignments. 

Inebriate:
-Ed Tech doesn’t condone this type of activity, however, a margarita once in a while might be necessary to close out each week of virtual learning.


Ed’s Strategy Summary for Student Management: Expectations, Organization and Communication

Expectations:
- Establish and follow daily schedules
- Establish designated workspace
- Establish rules for school day (no game playing, tv watching etc)
- Establish that you will oversee that child is doing work throughout the day

Organization:
- Establish/Follow set schedule each day’s lessons and breaks (Don’t wing it!)
- Track assignments and due dates online and perhaps on a whiteboard at home
- Set up and maintain an organized designated workspace

Communication
- Establish frequency of check-ins between child and parent 
- Establish frequency of check-ins between parent and teacher

Ed’s Extra Credit: 

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.com-Check in with your child to see how they are doing academically and to see how they are 
  feeling about things. 
- Provide some form of safe socialization for your child outside of school hours. This will help with balance and your sanity!
-Provide yourself some grace to manage through. Take a time out when needed.


Ed Tech is Available in Many Forms
Because Ed Tech is a versatile guy, there are tons of other e-learning resources that can assist you in your virtual wonderland. Here are a few you might want to check out:

Khan Academy.com
Time4Learning.com
Weareteachers.com
Commonsensemedia.org
TedEd

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That’s a Wrap With Ed Tech, Your New Best Friend.
Ed Tech isn’t such a bad guy if you engage him properly. A little pre-work to get prepared and with a few deep breaths, you will be able to successfully handle all that comes with Ed Tech and the virtual world of schooling.


Special thanks to Ed’s favorite teachers: Julia Xistris and Kylie Ogodogu for their expertise in the field of educational technology.

Shine on!


Julia Xistris has 14 years experience teaching. She is the former K-5 STEM teacher in Belleville, Wisconsin and Project Lead the Way Master Teacher. Currently she is the ⅚ classroom teacher at an international prep school in Bangkok, Thailand. 

Kylie Ogodogu has 15 years of teaching experience and works for the School District of Belleville, Wisconsin as the district library media specialist and the technology integrationist. 

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Fall Back into Health: The Three Areas to Focus Your Efforts - Grace, Kindness, and Little Bit of Alcohol

8/17/2020

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By Erika Fehrenbach Prell
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It’s that time again, DreamChasers. The start of the school year is fast approaching. While this year might be a bit, ahem, up in the air with virtual, in person, or a combination of these, there is one thing you can count on...cold and flu season! This is an inevitable part of fall, DreamChasers. You can be afraid or prepared; the choice is yours. SoulShine Life Connections Inspiration Catalyst and resident nurse practitioner, Erika, has your back with some guidance on where to focus your efforts to keep yourself, and your troops, as healthy as possible this fall.


Let’s address the elephant in the room. I mentioned cold and flu season but not covid. Since I loathe the word unprecedented (I mean, isn’t anything new technically unprecedented? Moving on.), I will use crazy. This is a crazy time, DreamChaser. Here’s the truth that all the experts don’t want to really admit to...no one really knows what is going on with covid. No one knows the best way to treat this virus. No one knows the best way to prevent this virus. No one knows if or what the long term effects are of this virus. The answer is simple; this virus is too new to know any of these answers for sure. Medicine, and science in general, is based on educated best guesses as well as trial and error.

I apologize if that freaked you out a little but someone has to be brave enough to say it. That’s exactly why the experts aren’t saying that “they don’t know for sure” and are, instead, changing the recommendations every other moment, resulting in confusion on who or what to believe. Take a deep breath and read this next part. While no one knows for sure the exact details of this particular virus, medicine and science has had very good success in dealing with other viruses and illnesses. All illnesses start out as an unknown, right? The past medical and scientific breakthroughs are the lessons on the process to uncover this one. It just takes time and patience while the process unfolds.

While I may not have the answers to cure the culprit of this pandemic, I have three areas for you to focus your efforts to optimize your health this fall...grace, kindness, and a little bit of alcohol. You read that right; it is not a typo...a little bit of alcohol is key so read on!
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Give Grace...to yourself and others
What do I mean by this? To me, giving grace is combining the idea of giving someone the benefit of the doubt with empathy. Leading with this idea of giving grace helps release tension and negativity. It helps put things into perspective. There are things you can control, and things you cannot control, during this time. Giving grace is a conscious decision to bring in the positivity and possibility of this situation and release the negativity and limitations. Give the things you can’t control away and focus on what you can.

Make the decisions that feel right to you while realizing someone else might come to a different decision because that is what is right for them. And, it is okay to change your mind! This is not a time for self-guilt or a time to pass judgment. You are doing the best you can in this moment as is everyone else.
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Throw Kindness Around Like Confetti
Take a moment and think back to when you have seen large amounts of confetti thrown in the air. For me, the Super Bowl comes to mind. It’s a colorful explosion that rains down on all; if it happens to be outside, the wind grabs ahold of it and spreads out that colorful, joyful celebration even farther. That, DreamChasers, is what we should be doing with kindness; throw it into the wind like confetti to rain down on all it can touch. Don’t be stingy; throw liberally. 

While kindness to others is important, do not forget to shower yourself with a hefty dose of self-kindness as well. At SoulShine, we define self-kindness as taking care of yourself in all areas of wellness, your mind, body and self. There are many ways to show self-kindness including eating well, exercising, reading a book, playing a game, meditating, or journaling.
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In times of stress and uncertainty, like now, kindness to self and others is needed more than ever. It’s a way to boost morale, decrease stress, and foster connection. Keep in mind that you need to care for yourself first before you can care for anyone else; that good old “put your oxygen on first” idea, DreamChasers. Go throw out that kindness confetti!

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A Little Bit of Alcohol 
This is the one you were waiting for! While an adult beverage might be in order, this is a judgement free zone, that isn’t exactly what I was getting at. I actually meant hand sanitizer. Before you say, lame! Trickery! Here me out. While the exact guidelines for Covid are still being sorted out, there are a number of actions you can take to keep yourself and others as healthy as possible during cold and flu season. There is a good chance some of these may help decrease the spread of covid, too....bonus, baby! Here they are: 

Tips for Cold and Flu Season Health:
  1. Wash your hands! (You can’t do this enough, seriously. Wash for 20 seconds with a good lather.)
  2. Use a paper towel or your foot to open public restroom doors. (Otherwise, you just wasted that good lather)
  3. Use hand sanitizer like it’s going out of style. (Be liberal with the alcohol, and share with others!)
  4. Capture sneezes and coughs in your elbow or a tissue. (Then, sanitize or wash your hands for good measure.)
  5. Try not to touch your face. 
  6. Smile and laugh as much as you can. (It boosts your immune system.)
  7. Take time to decrease stress. (Stress has many negative effects on your health, including decreasing your immune response.)
  8. Stay home if you are not feeling well. (The best way to stop the spread of germs and limit how sick you get is to take care of yourself.)
  9. Consider getting the influenza vaccine and making sure your other vaccinations are current. (This is all I am saying on this topic. Your personal views on vaccination are respected, which is why the word “consider” was purposefully selected.)

DreamChaser, listen up. You will get through this. This is a season in your life, and all seasons pass. There are blessings to be found in times of stressing, finding these blessings will make you stronger and more resilient. Give yourself grace and pass that along to others. Kindness is confetti and needs to be spread. These are things in your circle of control. And, never, forget the alcohol!

Shine on!
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Spending with Intention Without It Being a Pain in The Budget

8/13/2020

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By Jackie White
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Money. You love it. You hate it. The relationship you want with it might go something like this song from Bruno Mars:

I wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad
Buy all of the things I never had
I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine
Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen

That would be nice wouldn’t it? But, seriously, what does your dream look like? Maybe it’s owning a little coffee shop or buying your own home? Maybe it’s retiring early and being a beach bum or simply living a comfortable life that allows you to pursue your passions. Whatever your dream is, it’s likely that if you made the decision to spend with intention, keeping that dream in mind, that little hot finger on the Amazon “buy now” button might cool off! 

I sat down with Rhonda Noordyk and Chassidy Camp of the The Women's Financial Wellness Center and we chatted about why so many women find themselves in a bit of a financial jam which then doesn’t allow for the financial foundation needed to build dreams upon.
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Let’s define what we mean by financial wellness. Financial wellness is a state of well-being where an individual has achieved minimal financial stress, established a strong financial foundation, and created an ongoing plan to help reach future financial goals. It’s the financial wellness trifecta that can buy you freedom! Sounds pretty good and maybe a little punny. But still you question...what's the catch? 
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aybe you are thinking there must be some pain involved with establishing financial wellness. Well, that all depends on how you look at it. The fact is, to get financially healthy, you have to start with awareness. It is important to know what is coming in and what is going out of your bank account each month. For some, this could be painful. For example, you might have never really realized that the Starbucks coffee you buy every morning is costing you almost $1,000 a year! Whaaa? That is a little painful!

Besides Starbucks, here are some other areas we spend money on that can add up quickly when you’re not paying attention:

Memberships: Amazon, Costco, Gym
Streaming Services/Cable TV: Netflix, Hulu, Sling etc.
Self-Care: haircuts, colors, nails, massages, make-up
Cloud Storage services
Music Services: Apple Music, Spotify, Pandora etc
Food: Eating out, Delivery, Drinks
Uber
Retail Therapy (It feels so much better when you call it this, but it’s really just buying stuff you don’t need).

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If you are not aware or are choosing to avoid managing your money, things can get worse.  Here are some stats you need to think about. Time to focus, Grasshopper. You don’t want to be so broke you can’t pay attention! Just a little money humor there to lighten the mood!

The Stinging Stats on Finances in America

  • 81% of women and 78% of men are living paycheck to paycheck. The eye-opener here is that many times it is not because they don’t make enough money. It’s because they do not live within their means. For those whose heads are in the sand right now, that means they spend too much money on stuff they don’t have money for. Ouch.

Back to the stats: 

  • Americans across all salary levels show that more than 50% of them save less than $100 per paycheck. PSSST - that’s not enough.

  • Although 6 months of expenses should be saved in the event of an emergency, like a pandemic, only 23% of people have that much saved.

  • Only 1 in 10 Americans are saving 15% or more of their income for retirement

  • Over ⅓ of women have zero saved for their retirement

  • 36% of Americans know how much money they will need to retirement

PS: Retirement is not forever away. You need to save for it!

The moral of the story is that Johnny Kemp’s song “Just Got Paid” should not be your theme song:
Just got paid; it's Friday night
Party hunting, the bass is right
Booty shaking all around
Poured my drink, now I'm getting down

You can still shake your booty, but let’s not wait on Friday to have money. It’s time to spend more intentionally, but how do you do that? It’s a combination of really exploring what your best life looks like and what it will take to make that vision come true.
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Analyzing the Dream
Have you really looked into what it will take to afford your dream? You have to ask yourself the relevant questions and identify the answers. For example, if your dream is to own a house then what sort of house are you looking for, where is located, how much does that cost, what type of down payment will you need? The next step is looking at how much you make and how much you can save. Maybe you need to consider eliminating some expenses and/or taking on another job to help finance your dream. Or maybe you need to reassess your parameters of your dream to make it an affordable option for you.

Here is another way to look at dreams.Sometimes the dream is not necessarily owning the boat. If you work the numbers of purchasing a boat, trailer, insurance, storage etc and compare that with how often you might take it out, perhaps it would be cheaper to rent a boat a few days of the season and avoid the hassle of ownership.

If owning a cabin is your dream because you want to have family and friends to come visit, maybe it’s the act of getting together that is really what’s important to that dream and not so much the cabin itself. Perhaps, the cabin would be nice and could possibly be something to save for, but could you get together with friends and family at a park or local beach until then? 
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What if we just called it a BOOjay?

Budget: an estimate of income and expenditure for a set period of time.
BOOjay: is the exact same thing as a budget, but sounds so much more friendlier and fun!

My friends, Rhonda and Chassidy at The Women’s Financial Wellness Center share that creating and following a budget or as I like to call it a BOOjay, doesn’t have to cramp your style. 

5 Simple Budgeting Guidelines to Follow
  • Less is More - There is a movement towards thrift shop finds and tiny houses! Less is definitely more. It is a mindset shift.
  • Be Realistic...no, like for realsies. Avoidance and underestimating your financial needs will catch up to you. Also, if your dreams feel too financially big for your budget, can you scale back and still achieve an acceptable alternative? 
  • Avoid the Latest Fads - you do not need butt injections or 6 inch bedazzled nails! Instead focus on your longer term goals in life and put that money towards achieving those goals.
  • Weekly Budget Conversations. It is totally fine to talk to yourself. Just don’t listen to the one voice that is always saying “Life is short, buy the shoes!” Frank conversations with yourself and/or partner on spending will keep you on track to achieve your financial goals.
  • Adjust Each Month - adjust your saving/spending as needed, but with one caveat: not to the detriment of the whole BOOjay!

The bottom line,(yup, another financial pun - who knew there were so many?)... Anyhoo, the bottom line is to take some time to be aware of your spending, make a plan and work towards your dreams! Download SoulShine’s DreamChaser Goal Getter Guide Finance Edition for more help with intentionally planning for your dreams.

And for help with your BOOjay, The Women’s Financial Wellness Center can help you with their Budget Course. Check it out here: https://wfwcacademy.thinkific.com/

Stay intentional and Shine on!

About The Women's Financial Wellness Center:
The Women's Financial Wellness Center was established in 2014 by Rhonda Noordyk. The idea was sparked when Rhonda learned about a new women's health facility in the greater Milwaukee area. It was revolutionizing health care for women. Their state-of-the-art approach to holistically helping women through all stages of their lives. She thought it would be great if there was something like that from a financial perspective. So years later, she had the opportunity to leave the financial industry where she was working to create The Women's Financial Wellness Center. The intention was to create a safe space for women to gain holistic financial wellness and empowerment. 

An interesting organic off-shoot of the business became helping women who were contemplating divorce. The Women’s Financial Wellness Center specializes in helping women through divorce and also women who are just needing some help getting their financial wellness in order. The business has grown and today there are two locations with one in Milwaukee and one in Madison Wisconsin. www.wfwcdivorce.com


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You Can Do Hard Things. Distance Learning Success with Children Who Have Special Needs

8/10/2020

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By Jackie White
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Kids come in all shapes and sorts. Each one has certains strengths and challenges. Some kids may have more difficulties than others when it comes to navigating life, and for these kids, distance learning can pose unique challenges. Students with special needs or disabilities have systems setup in schools based on 504 or Individual Education Plans (IEP) that outline certain accommodations the school is providing to the student to assist in their success. These systems and accommodations can get challenging when distance learning is imposed. This guide will help you, as the parent, identify possible opportunity areas, ways to cope and how to lay the foundation for success.

Routine
Routine can be very important for some students and when the routine gets upset, so does the student. The best way to manage this is to address the physical environment and establish the daily routine before school even begins. It is important for any student to have a calm and stable learning environment.Take some time to set up the physical schooling space for your child. Involve them in setting it up as well. They may have ideas to make the space more hospitable and comfortable for them. 

Idea: When my child homeschooled, he had the idea that he would like to make a friend to attend class with him. We took time for him to assemble his friend from oatmeal containers and boxes. My son was very pleased to have another student in class with him and for him, he didn’t feel so alone.

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Schedule
Engage your child’s teachers to set up consistent schedules and expectations for your child. Additionally, set up a schedule to allow for breaks, lunch and outside time. This will give your child the opportunity to reset and refocus. 

Idea: Make up a visual schedule using First/Then parameters. For example: First complete your writing and then have a snack.

Environment
Make sure you have all the supplies your child will need for each day’s lessons. If you have to hunt around for supplies during the day, it can throw off your student’s focus. Other considerations about your student’s workspace are to control space at home for Zoom calls. Keep them in a place that has the least distractions. Also, if other students are working alongside, make sure they have a quiet place for them to continue working while the Zoom call takes place.

Idea: If your student can tolerate wearing headphones, he/she may be able to focus better if the headphones cancel outside noise while in use.

Special Services 
One of the main concerns may be how your child is going to access special services. This discussion needs to take place before school starts, if possible, so that you can incorporate services into your child’s schedule. 

Idea: Set up a time to meet regularly with your special services teacher or teachers. Regular meetings will make sure your student is on track with his/her work.

Technology
Distance learning can be very effective for some students, but, without access or reliable connectivity to the internet, the ability to access the lessons and expertise your child may need will be significantly affected. Before school starts, check with the school to see if there are any internet service providers offering free access to those in need. Also, check your local Public Broadcast Service (PBS) to see if they are offering any local educational programming presented by your child’s school.

Idea: Check to make sure your router is up to date and if an internet booster would enhance internet service connections.
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Mindset
For the parent, this can be a very trying time. You do not have the same expertise as your student’s teacher, but that doesn’t mean you can't be a great supportive learning coach! Working with your student can be life enhancing but can also require patience, persistence and energy from you. Be prepared to keep your student on track. This will take some organization on your part. As well, minimize their (and your) frustrations by making it fun. Finally, be prepared for your student to take longer to complete assignments than you might have estimated. Prepare yourself for that and don’t overestimate what can get done during a day of school work. 

Idea: Be purposeful to add in some fun! Choose a fun activity that you can do together outside the school work. Take a walk together, have popcorn reading time or do a craft. These moments can infuse the fun into the daily grind!

Take Time for Yourself
This may not be what you signed up for, but it’s the hand that has been dealt, so the best course of action is to do your best and take care of yourself. 

Idea: To avoid burnout, find something that you can do for yourself. It’s important to keep yourself in a good place so that you can help your child in the best way you can.

Some Kids Thrive with Distance Learning 
Not every kid will think distance learning is difficult. Those who suffer from anxiety or don’t like being around a lot of people can do very well with online learning. Also, with the availability of Zzoom calls, one on one teaching may be more available than ever, which can benefit many students.

Idea: The kids who thrive in this environment, may enjoy taking on other tasks like learning how to cook or learn other life skills. Add these opportunities in for your student and watch them blossom!
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Distance learning may not be everyone’s first choice in schooling their child, but it’s necessary to make the best out of the situation. Choose to view this as an opportunity to build a stronger relationship with your child and with your child’s teachers. Don’t forget to take time to refresh yourself as needed, refer to these guidelines and ideas, do your best and shine on!


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Back to the Basics BootCamp: 3 Areas to Focus on To Boost Your Health and Energy

8/6/2020

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By Erika Fehrenbach Prell
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Confession time, DreamChaser. I took a big fall off the health wagon. I mean, like I fell off, the wagon kept going, and I was left sitting on the side of the road in the dust. The pandemic pandemonium started the initial descent, and the summer slide pushed it the rest of the way. Anyone else?!?

While it is true that any time is a great time to restart, August is a natural “do over” time in the calendar, especially if you have kids going back to school. As school approaches, all the parents need to start re-domesticating those wild, free range children with bedtime routines, regular showers and fresh underwear, and schedules. Take it from me, as in learn from my mistakes, starting this process before the first day of school definitely is helpful in being successful. Even with virtual school as a partial or full day option, getting your kids back to a regular schedule will be important for everyone’s success and sanity.

Guess what, parents? That also means it’s time for YOU to start taking care of yourself and getting back on a healthy schedule! We all need to feel our best to get through this next chapter. Let’s heft our butts off the side of the road, dust ourselves off, and walk towards that wagon. (Walk, because running is not an option yet...lol.) Before you start listing off all the things you are doing wrong, I want you to stop, take a deep breath, and stay with me. Your total health revolves around 3 areas; that’s it, just 3 areas. Focus on these 3 areas, and you will not only boost your health and general well-being but will also boost your energy. 

Are you ready?!? Here we go…

Get Your Move On
Exercise, or as I prefer to call it, recess time, is a crucial part of your health and wellness. Seriously, it’s time to stop making excuses and putting this off and just start moving consistently, as in every day. Before you freak out, let’s get something straight. I am not talking about hours of commitment or signing up for expensive classes or hiring a personal trainer, although, if that’s your jam, cool. Per the American Heart Association, as little as 10 minutes of activity daily contributes to your heart health. 10 minutes is not a lot, DreamChaser, is totally doable and contributes to your health, well-being, and energy immensely. Find a physical activity that you enjoy and schedule it into your daily to-dos. Just to help you get started, here are a few ways to get your move on:
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Choose How to Fuel Up 
You’ve heard it before, and you are about to hear it again; food is fuel. While you have heard this, have you ever really stopped to think what this means? Your body uses the food you eat in two ways, either to run all the functions your body does all day long or as the building blocks to create cells. This means your food either fuels your body or is used to make your body. When you put it that way, do you want to run on and be made of chips or vegetables? The fuel you choose directly affects how you feel and what you are able to do, in the short term and the long term. Just like a Lamborghini, if you want peak performance, you need to choose premium fuel. 

While you might only be thinking of food in this category, don’t forget what you choose to hydrate with. You are made of roughly 75% water. That means, in a day, 3 out of 4 beverages should be, you guessed it, water! If you want to feel better, be better, and do better, you have to choose to eat and drink healthy most of the time. I’m a realist; we all need to have cake or ice cream from time to time. Just make sure that is the exception and not the rule! 
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Get Your ZZZs
This is the area of highest neglect. We all want more of that precious time, so we seem to think we should decrease our sleep to make more time to do all the things. Seems logical but it is a big, ehhhh, wrong answer. Study after study has shown that you are less efficient, focused, and effective when you are tired. Want to get more done? Don’t cut your sleep short! An adult needs on average 7 to 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep per night. I can hear all the parents laughing; uninterrupted?!? I have children! You can’t control if your kid, or kids, wake you in the night but you can control if you go to sleep at a reasonable time. Check out these tips to set you up for sleep success, too!
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Did any of these surprise you? I’m guessing, no. We all know what we are supposed to do to take care of ourselves, right? We complicate it by adding layers on top of each of these. All these layers do is cause our minds to lose focus, get confused, and fail to stick with it. You may have heard this before, a confused mind says no, resulting in that whole falling off the wagon spiral. Keep it simple, DreamChaser. Move, eat well, and sleep. Make a commitment to taking care of yourself and focus on making the best choices in these areas. DreamChaser, your future self is already thanking you! Shine on

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Back to School at your Kitchen Table. Your Best Guide to Successfully Managing Virtual Schooling This Fall

8/3/2020

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By Jackie White
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Summer is winding down and back to school is gearing up, well sort of. This year back to school is looking a lot different than any of us could ever have dreamed. It’s likely that whatever the scenario your school district may be following, virtual school will play a part in your child’s education this year. The following guidelines will help you prepare, manage and pull this off successfully!

Get Ready, Good News and Encouragement

First, a word of warning, virtual schooling isn’t a walk in the park, and it will need some attention from you. The good news is that we are providing the guidelines and checklist to get you started on a positive path! Second, a word of encouragement, you can do this, your child can do this! You might even be surprised how much you both learn from this unique experience!
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Supplies:
Before school starts you must take some time to prepare. Hit the sales and gather the materials you will need. This year you might want to consider buying a white board where you can track assignments for each of your kids.This will be very helpful to keep you and your students organized.

Equipment:
Does your child need special equipment, like a chrome book for school work? How well does your wi-fi work? Do you even have wi-fi? If not, check with your school for resources on how to obtain it.

Study Space Environment:
Set up a designated place your child will work. Bedrooms are not great choices for getting work done. If you have multiple kids studying together, make sure they have the space and environment to work without distraction. To help set the atmosphere, discuss if your child likes soft music playing or quiet. Quietly played Baroque music can help enhance learning by improving focus. 

Assignments:
Find out how assignments will be assigned, where the details of the assignment can be found along with due dates. This seems like obvious information but frequently is where the chaos occurs.

Grading and “Optional” Work:
Understand the grading of the classes. Make sure you are comprehending the teacher’s directives. Here’s an important tip, some assignments might be considered “optional”; unless you know which ones are, you might be hearing from your child that there are far more “optional” assignments than there really are.  I know, I have personal experience in this area! 
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Expectations:
This is a big one! Spend time on establishing guidelines and expectations on how you will be doing school at home. Share these expectations with your child very clearly. Posting them in your study area is a good idea to avoid later conflict on what’s expected. 

Establish expectations around the time school starts and ends, where schooling will occur, how communication will go between you, your child and your child’s teacher, what time breaks and lunch are scheduled and what will be expected to be completed in that week’s time. Consider using positive reinforcement rewards to attach these guidelines to bolster your child’s motivation to stay on task. These are all critical guidelines that must be established before school starts and enforced throughout the semester.

Be Patient
Being your child’s parent is one thing, but to also be their teacher/learning coach requires you to take on a new role. It can really try your patience to deal with an inattentive child or one that needs a snack break every five minutes. For older kids, getting them to get out of bed on time may be exasperating, but you need to keep your cool as best you can. That brings us to the next tip.

Pick Your Battles
Not everything is worth going to war over. Carefully pick and choose your battles to keep the momentum of school moving forward without daily conflict.
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Take Care of Yourself and Your Child
This will be new for both parent and child and taking on the schooling responsibility at home can be stressful. Remember for both you and your child to get enough sleep, exercise and eat properly. Be sure to stay hydrated and take time to just relax everyday. 

Be Persistent
There are going to be days when you want to wave the white flag and surrender, but you have to stay persistent. When the enemy, I mean, your child sees you starting to break or slack off of the expectations, they will jump all over that! You can do this! Just stay the course.

Stay Positive
Not everyday is going to be rainbows and butterflies, but do your best to maintain a positive attitude. Virtual schooling is likely not everyone’s first choice on how to school, but it is a circumstance we need to not only survive, we need to thrive. If you are feeling tired or frustrated, take a moment to reset and then do your best to maintain positivity as your energy will feed your child’s energy.
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Be Grateful
There is always a silver lining. I can tell you from my own experience, that schooling my child at home was one of the best experiences of my life. You have an opportunity here to really engage with your child in a way you would not have before. Take the opportunity and be grateful that you can spend the time with your child.

You are now prepared. Keep your mindset positive, take breaks as needed, but whatever you do, don’t give up!

Oh, yes and remember to Shine On!
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    Authors

    ​​​​​​​​​​Erika Fehrenbach Prell is passionate about inspiring and educating, others on their path to complete wellness-mind,body, and soul. This desire led Erika to the helping profession of nursing, and she obtained her Master's Degree as a Nurse Practitioner in 2007. Erika specialized in cardiac surgery, largely influenced by her personal experience with heart disease. While she loved working with this population, her heart's desire has always been to impact lives on a larger scale and from a proactive, not reactive, place. The universe answered when her path crossed with Jackie and SoulShine was born.  Erika finally feels she is walking in her purpose and is excited for this journey to unfold.

    J
    ackie White has been writing about life and its ups and downs for many years. With a degree in Industrial Psychology and a life-long student of personal development she is intrigued by how each individual chooses to live their life. Jackie feels strongly that truly living your best life is imperative to attaining peace and fulfillment. SoulShine was borne of her desire to inspire and teach others to live their best life. This is her mission and her dream.



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